Mother’s day is complicated for me. It is not a day of emotional rainbow unicorns and puppies turned inside out and wrapped in brunch, flowers and another meaningful charm for a bracelet that gets in the way when I do just about everything. This is probably because motherhood is complicated for me. The best word I can use to describe it is relentless. Don’t judge me before you look up relentless. It is relentless in its challenges and its joys, its triumphs and its failures, its monotony and its surprises. I do not recognize my experience in the current Mother’s Day mythology; so my tribute to mothers will not be dipped in pastel and served with a mimosa. It will, instead, be coated in something sticky, seasoned heavily with shame and incredulity, and accompanied by something a little stronger which has hopefully been aged in a barrel.
- I'm embarrassed that I care about Mother's Day.
- My house is dirty most of the time.
- My children love each other, but are not friends.
- Sometimes I block my son’s number.
- Pretty sure I’m going to have to rely on my dogs to care for me in my old age.
- My ideal Mother’s Day is a day without my family.
- I hate grocery shopping.
- I know for a fact that everyone else is a better mother than I am.
- I know for a fact that nobody else knows how to parent my kids better than I do.
- I know for a fact that I have no idea what I’m doing.
- I am jealous of your kids’ success, genuinely happy for it, but, yes, jealous too.
- Part of me keeps doing all the cooking, and baking and nurturing crap in hopes that they will eventually have a eureka moment about reciprocity.
- My husband makes long impossible to-do lists for every weekend. He can’t wait to check off make Mary breakfast & buy Mary gift every second Sunday in May.
- I don’t remember my children’s first words, I was too exhausted to write them down.
- I know I cannot actually make them happy, but I keep doing everything possible to make them happy.
- Sometimes it’s not my fault that it’s their fault.
- It’s great that they put their dishes in the sink, but why the fuck can’t they put them in the dishwasher.
- Their suffering still twists my heart into pain and fury.
- Perhaps my greatest failure as a parent is their inability to find anything.
- Sometimes I get pissed that I’m always the last one allowed to get pissed.
- There are many things I could have done if I hadn’t become a mother.
- There is not a single one of them that I would trade for being a mother.
- No experience has ever taught me more about the glorious beauty of imperfection and chaos.
- Don’t ask me what I want for breakfast, after all these years you should know it involves breakfast pastries and bacon.
You are all fierce, beautiful, fabulous for your flaws warriors, who embrace every facet of Relentless every day! Happy Mother's Day.
