- Teenager #1 is stressed beyond proportion.
- Not willing to deal with that stress, he is channeling his panic into obsessing about getting a new car, or the fact that his face is drying out due to the three showers a day he takes, or which dog he wants to buy.
- Teenager # 2 is stressed beyond proportion.
- He has inherited my proclivity for Target therapy, and is, therefore, dealing with his stress by coming home with pointless crap and novelty underwear (the differentiation is important as novelty underwear is never pointless).
- Neither teenager wants to work on their problems.
- They refute every suggestion with the disdainful wisdom born of the certitude of their staggering years walking the earth.
- They are both in pain.
- I am certain I caused this.
- I am uncertain of everything else
So I double down on the whole "trying my best" thing, much to Yoda's chagrin.
My anemic attempts to help them navigate include making a lot of egg and bacon sandwiches, saying unpopular things like "Maybe we should try talking to a professional," and "Just do 15 minutes of SAT prep," and "Let's start with moisturizer before we go to the dermatologist," and "Would you like another egg and bacon sandwich?"