Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Your 15 Minutes Are Up
So I wrote this thing for Mother’s Day, I don’t know if you’ve heard about it. And, well, some people liked it, and What the what?!! It went viral. Cool. Wow. Awesome. Totally unexpected. And all these messages and emails start coming in.
“This is perfect”
“Thank you Mary”
“You should start a blog.”
“Your son needs to serve a detention for not turning in his History homework.”
“Congratulations, you’re the queen of all things.”
“When are you starting that blog?”
Wait. What? Detention?
Well that’s inconvenient. Didn’t my son know that my life was going well there for a second? That I was actually enjoying an unexpected turn in the road of my life; a turn that had beautiful views, surprising sites and the promise of a future full of self-fulfillment and inner peace? Sorry, road closed due to adolescence, please follow detour on this bumpy, pot-holed dirt path in the pouring rain in the middle of the night and by the way, don’t feed the Yeti.
That’s right, get over yourself Mary. Teenager #1 still hates to do his homework and has turned lying about it into an art-form. Teenager #2 also hates to do his homework yet has no problem memorizing the dwarf line of succession from The Hobbit.  Time to get back to being a mediocre mother who has no clue what she’s doing, and is desperately trying to remain afloat until the end of adolescence. Who am I kidding, like it’s going to end there? As Jason Robards said in Parenthood “It’s never over, you never spike the ball.”
So, go ahead, start your blog, remember this moment. Hang onto it and pull it out on the truly bleak days. But it’s time to get back to work honey. Your 15 minutes are up.

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